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Mischa Barton is Whatever

I’ve been commenting on Mischa Barton’s dumshit clothing choices for half a decade, and clearly she’s only gotten less able to dress herself, so I give up. Mischa, if you want to look like the two words to describe you are “I” and “amfat” then it’s all you. Don’t say I didn’t try to help.

UGG boots are for warming the feet of surfers after surfing, Mischa. Serves you right. You shouldn’t be wearing that footwear, you shouldn’t be playing a model on a TV show, and Ashton Kutcher shouldn’t be allowed to put anything on TV anymore. Unless it’s his suicide video. That I could handle. What, too mean? Think about it. It’d be really spastic, and it’d mention Demi Moore and a laundry list of celebrites he’s BFFs with, his pre-pube voice would get progressively louder and screechier, then there’d be a *bang* (which would be barely audible over Ashton) and then the sound of silence. Noise, discomfort, stench, noise, flush, relief. Just like taking a crap.

Mischa being stunning on August 17th: