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Bikinis, Boobs, and Tupac Jackson
Jenna Haze bikini pictures [Drunken Stepfather (nsfw)]
Eva Mendez in a see through dress [Taxi Driver Movie (nsfw)]
16 year old Taylor Momsen wearing a slutty dress [ICYDK]
Padma Lakshmi wearing almost nothing [City Rag]
Kelly Brook and her giant rack at the GQ awards [Hollywood Tuna]
Michael Jackson. The New Tupac? (This Is It!? That Seems Unlikely) [Pajiba]
Hugh Hefner is finally divorcing Kimberly Conrad [Dlisted]
Kate Moss goes crazy at the GQ awards [Heyman Hustle]
College girls being drunk and slutty (photo) [College Humor]
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Keywords: Michael Jackson
Mushmouth from Fat Albert Has a Michael Jackson Update
Only 7 or so years after he died, Michael Jackson was finally laid to rest last night in a “private” ceremony. Reverend Alb Sharptonb Twitteredb itb for youb. I already know I’m going to Hell, so I don’t feel bad for laughing at all this absurdity. Everyone in the Jackson family is outer limits. They’re all Clown College on acid. Frankly, I’m shocked they didn’t strap a sequined cape onto Michael’s already gaudy casket and shoot it from a cannon into his grave. I guess they were too busy trying to keep the blowtorch away from Joe so he wouldn’t melt down pieces of it for an HSN jewelry collection.
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Keywords: Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson’s Kids are Still Screwed
A custody arrangement has finally been reached in regard to Michael Jackson’s three little purchases. People reports:
“The 79-year-old mother of Michael Jackson will receive full custody of the pop singer’s three children under the terms of a deal that has just been reached, lawyers said Thursday. Deborah Rowe, the mother of Jackson’s two oldest children – Prince Michael I, 12, and Paris, 11 – will get visitation rights with her kids based on a schedule worked out with a child psychologist. Rowe also will receive continued spousal support from her marriage to the singer.”
These kids are test tube babies. They probably don’t even have belly buttons. Now they’re stuck with a senile 79 year old Jehova’s Witness and whoever she hires to handle them. I guess it could be worse. No. No it couldn’t.
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Keywords: Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson Was Gay, and on Fire
Us Weekly released an exclusive video of the famous Michael Jackson Pepsi commercial where his Jheri curl head caught on fire. In this video you can clearly see how bad the fire was and how disgusting his burned head looked afterward. This is supposedly the exact time in his life when he got addicted to Demerol, started wearing wigs, began molesting boys, having mannequins as best friends, having his face chiseled off, and dressing like a woman and having gay sex in squalid motel rooms.
Oh, about that, The Sun reports:
“MICHAEL Jackson had a string of gay lovers who he seduced by saying: “The King of Pop is going to lick your lollipop”, it was claimed last night. A sensational new book rushed out in the wake of Jackson’s death insists “virtually everybody” around him knew he was gay. And it alleges he would sneak out of his home at midnight dressed as a WOMAN to keep seedy dates with a male lover. Biographer Ian Halperin claims to have tracked down two of the superstar’s alleged male lovers….”
“Halperin makes the bombshell allegations in his book Unmasked: The Final Years of Michael Jackson, for which he claims to have interviewed many people who told him Jacko was gay. He said: “Virtually everybody has told me. Even those who are his most ardent defenders, people who maintain he is innocent of the molestation charges, insist that he is homosexually inclined…””
““Michael would leave the house in disguise, often dressed as a woman, and would go to meet his boyfriend at a motel that was one of Vegas’ grungiest dives. “Michael was broke. He struggled to put food on the table for his children. It was all he could afford then.” Halperin adds: “A close aide of Jackson who confirmed the affair to me said that he had no knowledge of what went on behind closed doors at the motel. “But the aide said Jackson would dress as a woman after midnight to meet a worker employed by the city of Las Vegas.” Jackson’s sexuality was a subject of debate as long ago as 1979.”
See, none of this would have happened if Michael Jackson didn’t wear Jheri curl and catch fire. So, if you have hot plans tonight to dip your head in grease and let people light explosives around you, don’t. You’ll end up a flaming gay child molester with mannequin friends. Speaking of which, has anyone seen Andrew McCarthy lately?
In case the video above dies, here’s another one:
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Keywords: Michael Jackson
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