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Jon Gosselin is a Dork

Jon Gossilin’s new girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, is the daughter of Cockatoo’s tummy tuck surgeon, so naturally one would assume she’s rich and beautiful. No.

Earlier this week her Facebook was found and its photo contents went viral. This one is my favorite and sums her up nicely:

To top that one off, a mugshot of hers surfaced this week, and … those fucking eyebrows. Meth + tweezers = this:

Go to Momlogic.com for more pictures of the possible stepmom to Jon & Kate’s funny looking kids.

Christian Audigier is the designer of those gaudy Von Dutch and Ed Hardy clothes. Audigier and Michael Jackson were working on a clothing line together before Michael Jackson died. What a shame we’ll never see those clothes since those designs would have undoubtedly been understated and classy in every way possible, but I digress. Christian Audigier purchased the Holmby Hills mansion in which Michael Jackson died and turned it into his new business headquarters. This weekend Audigier entertained Jon Gosselin (cockatoo head’s husband) and Jon’s new girlfriend aboard his yacht in St. Tropez. Audigier and Gosselin are working on a clothing line together. They’re going to design children’s clothes together. And I’m going to barf.

Cockatoo head had herself a little photo-op at the beach this weekend. I guess we’re supposed to take from this that Kate really does spend time with her kids and she looks super great for a woman who’s had eight kids. In reality, nannies raise her eight little ATMs while she goes under the knife and gets her stupid, butt-ugly hair done. The only thing less sexy than that is stepping in dog shit. Unless you track the shit on Kate’s carpet so she can go insane and spontaneously combust - then the sexy factor is off the charts.

Of course these pictures would show up right after I get done with parrot girl and tool boy. I think Kate did this on purpose. She’s probably sitting at home right now saying, “See, I TOLD YOU everybody wants my hair! SQUAWK!!” Yeah, you’re right, Kate. But Marisa Miller’s husband, Griffin Guess, is doing it wrong. He doesn’t have half his face covered with a blanket of hair. Please be sure to put your “attitude” to good use by calling him and nagging him about it incessantly until he throws himself out a window.