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Hayden Panettiere Needs Boob Job

Just like I said, Hayden Panettiere really needs a boob job. Look at her breast. That’s a gymnast’s boobs. They only care to win a gold medal and big boobs will only slow them down and send them to the bottom rank.

Besides, she has a really big boyfriend with big hands which had knocked down plenty of strong boxers. Try to understand, Hayden. He wants something more than you think. You’re 21 year-old now. It’s time to “grow up”! For you, for your big boyfriend, and for us.

Hayden Panettiere represents the Lollipop Guild so smoking something which stunts her growth further is probably a bad idea. Is it just me or is her head getting even bigger? Pretty soon it’s going to get so heavy she’ll turn upside down and no matter how many times you try to tip her over she’ll keep balancing on the top of her head. She’ll be a celebrity Weeble Wobble. She’ll make a great stocking stuffer!

I’ve watched Little People, Big World a couple times, so I have a natural sensitivity toward dwarfs that most of you don’t. Hayden Panettiere and her T-Rex arms, and her creepy little stubby hands, and her giant water head, and her padded bra are just trying to live a normal life in a world dominated by average sized people. A little compassion would be nice.