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Demi Moore is with Elephant’s Skin

Demi Moore turns to 48 this year. Hell! She’s only two years to half century and yeah, I have to say that Ashton Kutcher is way too cool to be on her side. Damn!

But, Ashton makes no wrong choice, though. The way his wifey dresses…uhm, I have to admit she’s fantastic for ‘The Late Show With David Letterman’ appearance.

But look at those knees! Euw! They remind me of old elephan’s skin on a circus parade. Gosh…age really cannot lie.

Suddenly I need to make a phone call: Ashton, are you thinking about buying your beloved wife an anti-aging cream?

I have no idea why Demi Moore is still on the cover of magazines. She stopped being interesting when she married that retarded kid with the screechy voice. On top of that, she’s kind of a sucky actress. Sure, she was sort of good in Ghost, but that was one time. Calling her a good actress for being convincing once is like me claiming to be a fitness guru for getting out of bed once today. In my defense, it was a long walk to the bathroom.

Here’s Demi Photoshopped to hell December’s W Magazine, and for good measure I added some ancient pictures of her posing nude and giving birth to a woolly mammoth. (Click for NSFW pictures):

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are on vacation with Katherine Heigl in the Bahamas. Demi Moore is 46 years old, so we’re all supposed to be impressed beyond words that she looks like this. In reality, Demi Moore has spent close to half a million dollars on various plastic surgeries during her 46 years of living, so color me unimpressed. While you’re at it, color a big “X” on Ashton Kutcher’s dumb face. And then draw a shark coming out of the water and devouring both of them. Then draw a bunch of people celebrating on the shore, including me, but give me really big tits and make me rich. Dollar signs for eyes or something like that. You know what to do. You’re the artist. Thanks.