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Jessica Simpson is Drunk Again
Jessica Simpson’s entire life consists of being annoying, failing at everything and being drunk. And that’s pretty much it. It’s a simple life, really. I guess the only hard part is how she manages to get completely blotto everywhere she goes. Most places don’t have a liquor license, but that doesn’t matter. Jessica could go to a Gymboree and would still need to be carried to her car an hour later.
See Also
Keywords: Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson
Ashlee Simpson Wants to Do Michael Jackson
Papa Joe Simpson is doing the predictable thing and jumping on the Michael Jackson death bandwagon in order to try and resurrect Ashlee Simpson’s dead music career. Page Six hears:
“THAT Joe Simpson, never one to miss an opportunity, is trying to revive Ashlee Simpson’s record career by pitching a concept album on which Ashlee would record songs of Michael Jackson.”
I might be going out on a limb here, but shouldn’t you know how to sing before you try to sing? Especially when you try to sing like Michael Jackson? Ashlee Simpson just needs to stay home and go back to sharing makeup tips with her husband and thinking of more retarded names for their future children. The only time that CD would ever be useful is to set your drink on or torture Gitmo detainees, and I have enough coasters.
See Also
Keywords: Ashlee Simpson, Michael Jackson, Pete Wentz
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