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September 22nd, 2009

Britney Spears Saves Megan Fox’s Life

Okay, that’s it. Megan Fox isn’t allowed to talk anymore. Here’s her latest:

Fox, who developed aerophobia in more recent years, insists plugging in the Toxic hitmaker’s tunes during flights eases her morbid fears, reports a daily. She explains, “I developed that (a fear of flying) when I turned 20. All of a sudden I got really afraid to get on airplanes. “I had to come up with a way to deal with it because I didn’t want to have panic attacks every time I get on a plane.

“I know for a fact it’s not in my destiny to die listening to a Britney Spears album, so I always put that on in my (headphones) when I’m flying because I know it won’t crash if I’ve got Britney on.“

Just because Britney Spears was a slutty flight attendant in a dumb music video doesn’t mean she’ll have magical powers over engine failure. And to prove it to Megan, I think next time she takes off I’ll stand on the end of the runway and throw seagulls at her plane. Megan needs a dose of reality and I hate seagulls. win/win

“My temper is ridiculously bad,” Fox, 23, confesses to Rolling Stone magazine for its October issue. “I’ve had to say to Brian, ‘You have to go and stop talking to me, because I’m going to kill you. I’m going to stab you with something, please leave,’ ” she claims. “I’d never own a gun for that reason,” says la femme dangereuse. “I wouldn’t shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure.”

I hope Megan Fox starts admitting gross things soon, because all of her psycho stuff is starting to get boring and predictable. It’d be fun to see her on one of those episodes of Hoarders and find out she has a room filled ceiling high with half eaten hamburgers, and she won’t flush her toilet ever because she thinks it takes years off her life.