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Madonna is Deadly

The stage which was being built for Madonna’s concert in Marseille, France collapsed killing two people and seriously injuring several others. Reuters reports:

“A British worker died in hospital after being injured by a collapsing stage that was being built for a Madonna concert in the southern French city of Marseille, authorities said on Friday. His death raises the toll from Thursday’s collapse to two after a French worker was killed on the spot. Eight other workers were injured, five seriously. Pop star Madonna had been scheduled to play the concert on Sunday but it was cancelled immediately after the incident.Part of the roof over the stage collapsed mid-afternoon on Thursday. A police source said one of the four cranes used to erect the stage slipped, causing the roof to buckle.”

This is the second time Madonna’s stage has collapsed. If I were Madonna I’d take it as a sign that it’s time to retire. She earns the equivalent of our national debt every time she tours. How much money is enough for this chick? When she’s 102 she’ll roll out on stage in a g-string and a solid gold wheelchair singing Like a Virgin, and people will still be spending $5,000 a ticket. “I sat so close to her that when her lower jaw fell off it landed on my lap!” one lucky concertgoer said.

The shattered singer — who had been told by government officials that three-year-old Mercy James was “definitely hers” — shrieked in horror after her lawyer broke the devastating news. Then Madge, who had spent nearly two years preparing to adopt the tot as a sister to Malawian son David Banda, sat motionless before “furiously storming off” to her room at the luxury lodge where she had been staying in the African country. She’s now flown out of Malawi on a private jet. One worker there said: “She was unrecognisably angry — she seemed in emotional agony. “We couldn’t tell if she was crying, but her daughter Lourdes ran and put her arms round her. Madonna said to her lawyer, ‘This is the worst day of my life’. “She yelled at him, ‘What went wrong? How could this happen’? He was staring at the ground.” The 50-year-old US star was so confident Mercy would be her daughter she had already held celebratory parties and refurbished her home to accommodate the tot. But in a shock move, Malawian Judge Esme Chombo rejected Madonna’s adoption bid on the grounds she is NOT resident there. And she launched a stinging attack on high-profile celebrities who jet into poverty-stricken countries to adopt children. The head of the orphanage where Mercy will today return said the ruling would be “like a dagger in Madonna’s heart”.

It’s trendy to hate Madonna, but she’s trying to give these kids lives they would never ever have any chance of living without Madonna’s name and money attached. So I ain’t drinking the Madonna haterade there, but I’m drinking it here in the United States where I’m not seeing Madonna doing anything to help black orphaned crack babies. If I was stuck in an orphanage in America I’d dip myself in squid ink and cut off my clitoris to get adopted by Madonna. Then I’d smoke crack.

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Madonna is Deadly

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