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A Look Alike Jennifer Aniston Is Needed By Pitt

This is new from Mr. Smith that he need to hire a nanny for his children in the family. But, he’s hiring a nanny that looks alike Jennifer Aniston for it. The rumor seems to be real because Brad Pitt hides his need from Angelina Jolie. This makes much more sense that Pitt wants a nanny but he wants a kind of his ex-lover and it will bang the family with this such ridiculous situation. These pictures below are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie at the premiere of The Tree Of Life in Cannes, France last May 16, 2011.

Gossip magazines and Jennifer Aniston fans (a.k.a. scorned women) have been dying for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt to break up since the moment they got together. Now that Angelina and Brad are barely ever seen in public together anymore there are rabid speculations that an official breakup announcement is imminent. Us gives details from a new tell-all book:

Brangelina: The Untold Story of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie reports that “they’ve broken up so many times it would make your head spin.” It also claims Jolie “has a temper like a cobra.” The book even alleges that she confessed to hiring a hit man to kill her in 1998 because she was so distraught. Us Weekly reports that the actress, 34, still has her battles with Pitt, 45 - especially when it comes to their six children. “They fight all the time about the kids - where to put toys, saying the wrong thing to a nanny, not cleaning up,” one source tells Us Weekly. “Like cats and dogs.”

There are also reports today that Angelina has filed for yet another adoption, but hers is the only name on the application. Humans aren’t designed to have litters of children, so adding another pup to this pack is not going to make the situation any sexier between Jolie and Pitt. Wait…did that say Angelina Jolie hired a hitman to kill her?? Wow. I knew she was nutty, but this is extra nutty. This is PayDay candy bar. This is Marlon Brando nutty. If Angie doesn’t end up moving all these kids to a private island and start cross breeding them with animals, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.

Angelina Jolie in 1998:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Fight All the Time

The talk-show icon blabbed to Howard Stern on Sirius XM radio about a time before she was married to Kelli Carpenter and Angelina had tied the knot with Billy Bob Thornton. A romance, she claimed, was a-bloomin’. “She gave me her phone number,” Rosie said. “We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through.” Fear got the best of Rosie and she wasn’t able to seal the deal. “I was a little afraid of her,” she said. “She’s scary in a sexual kind of way. I have dreams about her a lot still.”

In sum, it actually went something like this:

Rosie: Angie, gimme your number and we can talk about me giving money to your charity.
Angie: Great, okay it’s ***-***-****

Rosie: (ring ring)
Angie: Hello?
Rosie: Hey baby! It’s O’Donnell! So let’s cut to the chase. I want you, you want me, so when we gonna make this happen?
Angie: (click)

Rosie: (ring ring)
Angie: (voicemail)

And it went on like that until Angie changed her number.

Angelina Jolie and Rosie O'Donnell Almost Had Sex

In a new biography, Andrew Morton (author of famous books such as Diana: Her True Story, and the book Tom Cruise hates more than that infamous South Park episode, Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography) reveals that a 16 year-old Angelina Jolie had sex with her mother’s live-in boyfriend. The Sun reports:

Angelina was devastated when her mother died of cancer, in 2007, at the age of 56. Reports in Now magazine claim that the two women struggled to rebuild their relationship after the Changeling star confessed to the night of passion. “Marcheline had a live-in boyfriend whom she was very much in love with, but Ange slept with him when she was 16 and barely out of school,” said a source. “Her mother found out and ended her relationship with the man. “When Ange admitted the story to her brother JAMES just a few weeks ago, even he turned on her. She has hardly anyone left in life who likes or trusts her.” Angelina is now reported to be reconciled with her father JON VOIGHT, with whom she has had a rocky relationship in the past.

An important note: Angelina Jolie was 16 years old in the photoshoot attached to this post, so it would take a strong willed man to refuse the advances of a seductress who looked and acted like this at her age. Regardless, the man still had sex with a minor, and in California they call that statutory rape. And in prison they call that, “C’mere boy! Time to rip ya where the good lord split ya!”