Today is Memorial Day in the United States of America. This is the day when we remember all of the servicemen and women who’ve sacrificed their lives so we can enjoy freedoms like eating too much, getting really drunk, throwing up all the food and not remembering anything that happened on Memorial Day.
Here’s Halle Berry in a bikini in Miami yesterday. Not to be outdone is Speedo guy who would like you to evacuate your stomach contents as soon as possible.
When she’s not talking about politics Sheryl Crow is very likeable so it’s hard to say anything mean about her. I think I just dislike Lance Armstrong for what he did to her. Sheryl Crow went in looking like a hot female with some curves on her and came out looking like Lance Armstrong with long hair. This is what Lance Armstrong would look like in a yellow bikini and a wig…so if you’re a dude and you looked at these photos and had any sort of reaction in your crotch area other than recoil then congratulations, you’re gay. And that’s fine. Lance is an above average looking fellow. And look on the bright side…he’s missing one testicle so that makes you sorta less gay, right?
Personally I think there should be celebrity spots right in front of every place everywhere. Kick those cripples down the curb and in their place have a celebrity valet section where their cars are set upon a cloud and the celebs are floated via magic carpet into the destination so as to avoid stepping foot on the same ground as common people. While we’re at it let’s just get rid of cripples and common people…unless they’re fetching celebrities something…then they can exist, but only temporarily. Once what was needed to be fetched has been fetched they have to cease to exist again. Cripples need not apply because they take too long to fetch things and disappear.
Keywords: vanessa hudgens
Here are the first shots of Lindsay Lohan as Linda Lovelace in Inferno. I know you’ve been on the edge of your seat in anticipation…and by “you” I mean no one. Enjoy…
Source: Tyler Shields
The thing above is 50 Cent after he starved himself for a movie role. Of course everyone responsible for handing out Oscars and Golden Globes will be pressured into giving them to 50 Cent no matter how bad this movie sucks. And it will suck. This is 50 reports:
“50 Cent lost a lot of weight for his upcoming movie “Things Fall Apart”. In the movie 50 Cent plays a football player diagnosed with cancer. He dropped from 214 pounds to an astonishing 160 with a liquid diet and three-hour-a-day treadmill walks for nine weeks. “I was starving.” Now he’s back on tour and says, “I’ve been eating. I’ll be back in shape in no time!”
Great, good to know he’s back on steroids and mumbling incoherent crap into a microphone. The most frightening part about these pictures is not the weight loss, but that his teeth appear have gotten even bigger. I’ve always wondered how much effort it takes 50 to be able to close his lips around those things. He must nearly pass out from exhaustion doing it now. Good news is when he dies they’ll be able to harvest his teeth and craft an ivory-esque life sized statue of 50 in his honor.
Keywords: 50 cent
If you’re generally not a fan of Kim Kardashian’s, now I give a you a chance to change your mind. Don’t you see she’s pretty hot on that bikini? Can you see her bum sticking out a bit? I think she wants it to, a kind of show-off time. And that’s very normal for women, isn’t that?
The photos were candidly taken on 9 April and people hope she could possibly have herself a stiffer look now. Ah, people always want something more, and that request urges celebs to do more collagen injections and plastic surgery. That’s what they call as a mutual symbiosis.
Lindsay Lohan has been on probation since she was arrested for drunk driving (and coked out of her mind) a few years ago. Since then she hasn’t fulfilled the obligations of her probation and was ordered back to court. Instead, she stalled, went to Cannes, lied about losing her passport, then finally a warrant was issued for her arrest. But she wasn’t arrested. Instead she was allowed to cruise into court this week and was “punished” with yet another ankle bracelet. LA Times reports:
After missing a mandatory court appearance last week because she claimed she was stuck in Cannes, France, after her passport was stolen, Lohan finally faced the judge who responded to her absence by issuing a warrant for her arrest. The 23-year-old actress is on probation for drunk driving. Judge Marsha N. Revel forbade the actress to consume alcohol, ordered her to wear an alcohol monitoring bracelet and required random drug testing every week in Los Angeles. As part of Lohan’s bail condition, she must attend a weekly alcohol treatment program unless it interferes with a random drug test. Revel set a July 6 hearing to review Lohan’s compliance. Her probation could be revoked.
As you can see by the pictures at the top of this post, this will definitely crush Lindsay and force her to learn her lesson this time. Look how ashamed she was of it the first time. I swear California is the most embarrassing court system in America. If you’re a celebrity, a murderer, a child molester, an illegal immigrant…you’re a hero. You get 10 licks on a lollipop an a pat on the head as your punishment. However, if you dare have a clean record, be an average working schlub and *gasp* dare to call yourself a Conservative…or worse…a Republican you’re drawn and quartered. Or worse, forced to lick Lindsay Lohan’s lollipop after she licked it. LOL! You have AIDS now, stupid Republican!
Lindsay in court yesterday:
Keywords: lindsay lohan
Not satisfied with having marred the music industry and generations of impressionable girls in this lifetime, Britney Spears would like to screw thing up in the future by using cryogenics to freeze herself and then Austin Powers herself in the future. The Sun reports:
A pal of the star said: “Brit gets these obsessions and this is the latest. “It started when someone told her Walt Disney had been preserved by cryogenics to be revived in the future. That was a myth but it got her researching the foundation and she became convinced it was worth a shot. “Brit found the whole thing so interesting she spent most of her Mother’s Day trip to Disneyland researching the subject on the internet while a nanny took the boys round the park. “She looked into having her ashes turned into diamonds after she is gone but settled on the chance of getting to live in the future.” But before she invests loads of cash, she has to convince her dad Jamie, who currently holds the purse strings. The source went on: “Jamie is quite happy to let Brit have her little obsessions, especially when it means she’s holed up on the internet safely or watching the Discovery Channel.
Don’t think for a second this isn’t true. Of course it’s true. Every time I see an interview with Britney I catch myself drooling and looking as slack-jawed as she does. She’s one of the dumbest human beings ever created. I’d love to watch her watching the Discovery Channel. Every time an animal runs off screen she probably runs into the next rooms trying to find them. I wonder how many times her handlers have searched the neighborhood for her and found her in somebody’s yard lookin’ for duh anterlopes that runned away. Them lions were a-chasin ‘em an’ I didn’t wan’ ‘em tuh get me too! Are duh anterlopes okay, y’all??
Britney shopping on Robertson Blvd. earlier this month:
Keywords: britney spears