American Idol Live Blogging

I’m going to live blog American Idol tonight because it’s on its last leg and it’s either this or finish start taking down my Christmas decorations.

8:01 - Obama stuff, “yes we can,” and yes the fans can’t remember the name of this show.

8:05 - Shania is hot, the frizzy haired blonde is, too. Billions of commercials ahead.

8:11 - Amy Lame overdoing it.

8:14 - Shania is horrified. And wanting to murder this bitch.

8:15 - Randy said “yeeaah yeeah” again.

8:16 - Charity sang Summertime in Paris Hilton baby voice and got a golden ticket.

I need a cocktail.

Cindy Crawford is hawking her furniture.

Welcome back to Chicago.

8:18 - Poor Shania.

8:19 - Would be nice to know what these people are talking about, but we didn’t get to see their auditions.

8:20 - We passed up all those other auditions for Angela and her traffic warrant? Christ.

Trying not to forget what I’m doing here in favor of masturbating to anything other than this.

Michelle Obama and her scary eyebrows scaring people into charging 10 bucks on their cell phone bill.

8:34 - I like Curly. Give that man a ticket.

8:37 - Tiny Tim and his chins stay in character.

Another hour of commercials. Coming up, another sob story… Trying not to kill myself before it’s back.

8:44 - The champ is here. Randy’s teeth are 70 shades too white. No wonder Simon quit. Poor Shania.

More poor Shania.

8:47 - Shania wets her pants for a not all that talented Asian dude.

Ryan Seacrest promising a sob story after an hour of commercials. Can’t wait.

8:47 - Ryan Seacrest bought his shirt at Forever 21

I fell asleep.

Rewound my DVR, replayed…missed nothing.

8:59 - Poor Shania.

See Also

• Simon Cowell Wants American Idol No More
• Katharine McPhee is See Through
• No More Gay Jokes on American Idol
• American Idol Has Another Dead Contestant
• American Idol’s Adam Lambert is Gay
• All American Idol news

Keywords: American Idol