Jon Gosselin Has a Sex Tape, Loves Cocaine

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Jon Gosselin Has a Sex Tape, Loves Cocaine

National Enquirer is reporting today that Jon Gosselin might be at risk of losing custody of his kids after his bodyguard is set to testify against Jon regarding his drug use and a sex tape with a prostitute. Ewww…

Jon’s bodyguard Thomas Meinelt has been subpoenaed to testify in TLC’s lawsuit against Jon, and The ENQUIRER has learned Meinelt claims he saw Jon snort cocaine many times, and that he’s watched Jon’s secret sex tape! “Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he’s seen the tape!” said Stephanie Santoro, Jon’s former flame and family nanny. “Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him. “He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!”

Jon’s friends paid a hooker to have sex with him and filmed it for him. This doofus has really nice friends. Naturally, no attractive woman would willingly have sex with him without strings attached because Jon Gosselin is one of the least appealing jackasses alive. Between his crossed eyes, and his bad hair plugs, and his overabundance of general dorkiness it’s a wonder he’s not still stuffed in a locker in his high school. That being said, I’d still watch the sex tape for the laughs. I picture it something like this - the girl gets naked, Jon blushes and snorts while laughing with embarrassment, then fumbles around on top of her for a couple minutes, kneeing her in the stomach a couple times, finishes before he gets inside her, and cries in a corner as the girl is leaving. Then he orders up Chinese food.

Here’s Greek model, Christina Stefanidi, because she looks kind of Asian and she’s not Jon Gosselin: