Britney Hates Birth Control, K-Fed Hates Soap

TMZ is reporting that Kevin Federline is a pig and owes his landlord over a hundred grand. I’m as surprised as you.

“Now, the owners have fired off a nasty letter to the wannabe rapper, demanding $110,661 in unpaid rent and damages which include:

- Gutters full of cigarette butts and empty beer bottles
- A broken beer dispenser on the barbecue island
- Permanent spit marks on exterior paint
- Broken light covers
- Bent light posts
- Broken tiles
- Dead trees and plants due to failure to water
- Drawings all over the walls
- A room that was turned into a studio (without the owners’ permission)
- Broken dishwasher … with broken baskets
- Dismantled smoke detectors
- Front driveway oil-leak damage
- Master bathroom windows tinted [Ed. note: LOL, WTF?] (without owners’ permission)”

And so we don’t forget Britney is also a sloppy mess, somebody was kind enough to remind us. L&S reports:

“Just when Britney Spears’ life appears to be back on track, along comes a scathing new book that details the pop stars’ pregnancy scares, suicidal thoughts and bouts with substance abuse. “More than once, Britney was absolutely convinced that she was pregnant when she was with Justin Timberlake,” claims Steve Dennis in his explosive new biography, Britney: Inside the Dream. “The scares turned out to be false alarms, but they showed how serious the relationship was,” Dennis tells Life & Style about the ex-couple’s not-so-chaste relationship, which lasted from 1998 to 2002.

Another startling charge is that Britney, 27, chugged five cocktails after finding out she was pregnant with her and Kevin Federline’s second child, Jayden. “She was devastated, already suffering from postpartum depression [after having Sean], and it didn’t seem like a blessing at all,” Dennis says. “But Britney wasn’t reckless and didn’t drink or use drugs during the rest of her pregnancy.”

And while Dennis believes the “Womanizer” singer’s drug and alcohol abuse has been exaggerated, her depression was real, he says: “I think Britney told people she felt it would be easier to never wake up again. I think her family believed Britney was reckless enough to take her own life, but I don’t believe there was ever a serious attempt.””

These two swamp dwelling gutter slugs deserve each other. I don’t know why they just don’t get back together. Apart they’re like Pabst without blue ribbon, Oakley without blades, front porch without indoor furniture, Dale without Earnhardt.

See Also

• Britney Spears Leaves Sons for A Beach Date
• Britney and K-Fed Might Be Humping Again
• Vanessa Hudgens Won’t Be the Next Lohan, Will She?
• Britney Spears’ Jason Trawick is a Man Without Fame
• Britney Spears Sexually Harassed Her Bodyguard
• All Britney Spears news

Keywords: Britney Spears, Kevin Federline