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Sarah Michelle “Quato” Gellar is … That

Sarah Michelle Gellar is pregnant. At least that what the tabloids say. She’s gained no weight, yet she has this thing in front of her, as though it’s leading the way to a conversation with Arnold Schwarzenegger which will end with a bullet in its head. While its demise will have allowed a grotesque batch of mutants to live a good life, we’ve already seen those episodes of Jon & Kate Plus 8, so nothankya.

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Keywords: Freddie Prinze Jr, Sarah Michelle Gellar

Posted by Jenny, Sep 19th, 2009

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Athletic McTapey is on Tour

It’s so weird to me that such a heterosexual dude like Carey Hart is married to such a heterosexual dude like Pink. Carey and I grew up in the same city, traveled in the same circles, and Carey dated attractive (biological) females including one of my best friends. So it continues to shock me that Carey Hart would end up with a guy like Stink. To each his own.

Seattle dude:

“Considering Lindsay Lohan’s history with drugs and alcohol — including arrests for drunk driving and cocaine possession, along with multiple stints in rehab — the last place the star should be hanging out is a bar. But what made her 11:30 p.m. outing to LA’s Crown Bar on Sept. 4 especially shocking was Lindsay’s companion: her 15-year-old sister, Ali. “I couldn’t believe Ali was there,” one guest tells Life & Style. “They partied until after 1 a.m., and she treated Ali as if she were just one of her friends at the club with her. And Ali was excited to be there. She loved being out on the scene with her sister. It was as if she knew she belonged there.”

The girls’ father, Michael Lohan, thinks Ali’s strong enough to resist temptation. “I’m glad Lindsay and Ali remain so close,” he tells Life & Style. “However, they’re independent people and are capable of making their own decisions.”

But Ali’s already in dangerous territory. Near the end of last year, she stopped going to school, and Lindsay took her in. “Ali is enrolled in a homeschool program,” mom Dina tells Life & Style. Now, despite an eight-year age difference, the sisters are like twins, dressing alike, looking shockingly skinny and sporting plumped-up lips. “Anything Lindsay does, Ali wants to do,” a family insider says. Ali’s also witness to the chaos of Lindsay’s romance with Samantha Ronson. Early in the morning of Sept. 12, the couple had one of their regular blowouts and split up yet again, says the family insider.”

It’s a shame Lindsay’s little sister looks old enough to be Lindsay’s mother or else I might have a heart and feel sorry for her, but let’s get real. At her age, Ali should know better. Her AARP card has limits.

“My temper is ridiculously bad,” Fox, 23, confesses to Rolling Stone magazine for its October issue. “I’ve had to say to Brian, ‘You have to go and stop talking to me, because I’m going to kill you. I’m going to stab you with something, please leave,’ ” she claims. “I’d never own a gun for that reason,” says la femme dangereuse. “I wouldn’t shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure.”

I hope Megan Fox starts admitting gross things soon, because all of her psycho stuff is starting to get boring and predictable. It’d be fun to see her on one of those episodes of Hoarders and find out she has a room filled ceiling high with half eaten hamburgers, and she won’t flush her toilet ever because she thinks it takes years off her life.