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Little Ryan Seacrest, Big World
Ryan Seacrest stood upon a sugar cube to report for E! News this weekend. Afterward, a cat chased him back into his hole where he proceeded to take a bath in a thimble and tuck in for the night inside a matchbox. ‘Twas a busy day.
Source: TMZ
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Keywords: Ryan Seacrest
Rumps, Bumps, and District 9
Sarah Harding busts out of her short shorts [Hollywood Tuna]
Shauna Sand’s slutty bikini family day [Drunken Stepfather (nsfw)]
Naomi Campbell’s nipples [Taxi Driver Movie (nsfw)]
Leonardo DiCaprio is a slut [Dlisted]
Can The Simpsons Predict The Future? [College Humor]
Megan Fox filling up a tight white dress in all the right places [Heyman Hustle]
Us and Them (District 9) [Pajiba]
Alyssa Milano marries some dude [Webster's]
See Also
Keywords: Naomi Campbell
Naomi Campbell Upskirt, Sorry
Here’s Naomi dancing in St. Tropez in a dress with no panties. Naomi Campbell is a useless bitch who thrives on being hateful, screwing rich white men for money, and beating up her staff to the point where they land in hospitals. Oh, and she has a penis.
NSFW:
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Keywords: Naomi Campbell, Nsfw, Upskirt
Britney Spears Bikini Time
Britney Spears spent the weekend with her kids at the Ritz Carlton in Marina Del Rey. Britney spent the entire time being manic and not holding still ever. Her handlers must have been exhausted. Britney seems like the type who’d drown in three inches of water. Take your eye off her for two minutes and you’ll find her flailing on the pool deck with nothing but her face underwater. I’m shocked she’s not the one wearing floaties. Speaking of which, what’s up with her youngest tardling still sucking on a pacifier at his age? Poor kid has the most ass backward dumbass family possible. He doesn’t have a smart side. He’s screwed either way. By the time he’s 21 he’ll just be graduating from diapers to Pull-Ups and learning how to use a fork. I’m a big kid now!
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Keywords: Bikini, Boobs, Britney Spears, Hot
Jessica Simpson Can’t Stop Sucking
Here’s the latest reason Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are no longer together:
“Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with her head on his lap and the look on Tony’s face said it all,” an insider told Tarts. “He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make.”
I didn’t read any of the above stuff, but the underlying tone is that Jessica Simpson is a dirty ho, and needs to step off because her blowjobs make the Cowboys lose games, and everyone hates her. I’d feel bad for her if I wasn’t so interested in this tuna sandwich I just made. Oh my god, sweet pickle relish. Yum.
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Keywords: Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo
Sienna Miller is Handsome
If you’re looking for a ho who looks like a well-tucked tranny on the stroll, then you’re in luck, my friends. Don’t say I never did anything for you. Half price for the first five callers. Password: “felch”
See Also
Keywords: Bikini, Hot, Sienna Miller
Britney Spears is Still a Skanky Mess
Britney Spears changed into three different ill-fitting outfits during one shopping trip, but still couldn’t manage to wash her face or run a comb through her natty dreadlocks. The last time this raggedy trashpile ran around unshowered and constantly changing clothes she ended up shaving her head, so hopefully she’s building up to that again. Britney is only entertaining when she’s retarded and gross. When she’s doped up on Lithium she’s about as fun to watch as those Sarah McLachlan animal cruelty commercials.
See Also
Keywords: Britney Spears, Side Boob
Jaime Pressly Pees in Public
Jaime Pressly reportedly got so trashed at her bridal shower on Sunday that she copped a squat and urinated on the ground in front a bar. The whole thing was caught on a patron’s camera phone. Jaime denied it on her Twitter with this ridiculous excuse:
“Yes…that is me doing dare #8 at my bridal shower..Things are not always what they seem.. Notice my hand in the back,” she wrote. “Its pouring a bottle of water!!! C’mon guys! Do you think i would really pee in the entry way to the Abbey in broad DAYLIGHT!!!”
Actually it looks more like you’re pulling your panties to the side so you can pee 80 proof on the sidewalk. And that’s fine, Jaime. It’s not like a lot of us drunken whores haven’t done the same thing. Being drunk and waiting in line for the women’s restroom at bars is one of the most painful experiences ever. If I had to choose between that and being dropped into a Velociraptor cage, I’d take my chances with the raptors. At least this time I’d have a reasonable excuse for pissing myself and the pain would be over with quickly.
Source: HON
See Also
Keywords: Jaime Pressly
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