Mischa Barton Fell Down

UGG boots are for warming the feet of surfers after surfing, Mischa. Serves you right. You shouldn’t be wearing that footwear, you shouldn’t be playing a model on a TV show, and Ashton Kutcher shouldn’t be allowed to put anything on TV anymore. Unless it’s his suicide video. That I could handle. What, too mean? Think about it. It’d be really spastic, and it’d mention Demi Moore and a laundry list of celebrites he’s BFFs with, his pre-pube voice would get progressively louder and screechier, then there’d be a *bang* (which would be barely audible over Ashton) and then the sound of silence. Noise, discomfort, stench, noise, flush, relief. Just like taking a crap.

Mischa being stunning on August 17th:

See Also

• Mischa Barton is Whatever
• Isn’t She Lovely
• Mischa Barton is 5150 Crazy
• Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are on Vacation
• Mischa Barton is Still a Mess
• All Ashton Kutcher news

Keywords: Ashton Kutcher, Mischa Barton