Jessica Simpson Can’t Stop Sucking

Here’s the latest reason Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo are no longer together:

“Jessica would get really drunk and obnoxious, it was out of control. She would be sprawled everywhere with her head on his lap and the look on Tony’s face said it all,” an insider told Tarts. “He was so embarrassed in front of all the guys and his teammates were really harsh on him over it. Breaking up was a really hard decision for Tony to make.”

I didn’t read any of the above stuff, but the underlying tone is that Jessica Simpson is a dirty ho, and needs to step off because her blowjobs make the Cowboys lose games, and everyone hates her. I’d feel bad for her if I wasn’t so interested in this tuna sandwich I just made. Oh my god, sweet pickle relish. Yum.

See Also

• Tony Romo Finally Dumped Jessica Simpson
• Jessica Simpson is Still Trying Too Hard
• Jessica Simpson is a Big Fat Drunken Mess
• Jessica Simpson Engaged To Footballer Beau
• Fox is Sorry Jessica Simpson Got Fat
• All Jessica Simpson news

Keywords: Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo