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More Stuff to Help You Avoid Work

Ashley Tisdale slutting out in a bikini… [Drunken Stepfather (nsfw)]

Madonna’s Tribute to Michael Jackson… [Dlisted]

Holly Madison bikini pictures… [Hollywood Tuna]

Visiting Johnny Depp’s Island… [City Rag]

Tom Cruise’s baby wrapped in a blanket… [Hollywood Rag]

Angelina Jolie dances with Shiloh and Zee… [Just Jared]

Britney Spears has new ridiculously Photoshopped Candie’s ads… [ICYDK]

Lady GaGa see through and taped nipples… [Taxi Driver Movie (nsfw)]

Jennifer Aniston handcuffed with Gerard Butler… [Popsugar]

Dwayne Johnson is a skinny white alien… [Pajiba]

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Keywords: Ashley Tisdale

Posted by Jenny, Jul 6th, 2009

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Julianne Moore Wears Bikini, Reflects Sun

Julianne Moore is one of the few tolerable Ginger Kids out there who’s also relatively sane by most accounts, so it’s hard for me to make fun of her. But wow. She is white. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, “White is Might” and all, but man, this is going a little overboard. If she were a member of the Aryan Nation, she’d probably be their “god” or whatever. She’d replace the white god they have now, who I last I heard was the guy in The Princess Bride who lives in the tree pit and tortures people.

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Keywords: Bikini, Julianne Moore

Posted by Jenny, Jul 6th, 2009

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Lady GaGa Topless (Sorry)

Even if this was an attempt to get everyone to stop calling her a transsexual, this was still unnecessary. Nobody needs to see this. You could remove every part of Lady GaGa except for this breast, and she would still be horrifying. In fact, I think this qualifies as assault and battery in my state. That’s an idea. Have Lady GaGa arrested and let the jail settle her gender dispute once and for all. Welcome to your holding cell, GaGa. Say hello to your cellmates Demetrius (he’s here for rape), the man in the “No Queers” shirt is Frank the Snake (he’s here for terrorist threats), and the man sucking his thumb in the corner is Phil (he’s here for indecent exposure). Enjoy your stay.

First one is NSFW:

“Well, that’s Megan Fox for you,” Bay tell[sic] the Wall Street Journal. “She says some very ridiculous things because she’s 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do. You roll your eyes when you see statements like that and think, ‘Okay Megan, you can do whatever you want. I got it,’” he goes on.

Bay says he “100 percent disagrees” with Fox. “Nick Cage wasn’t a big actor when I cast him, nor was Ben Affleck before I put him in Armageddon. Shia LaBeouf wasn’t a big movie star before he did Transformers — and then he exploded. Not to mention Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, from Bad Boys,” he points out. “Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in Transformers,” he says. “I like to think that I’ve had some luck in building actors’ careers with my films.”

While I completely agree that Megan Fox is a dumbass with diarrhea of the mouth, Michael Bay is taking a tad too much credit for the successes of all these actors. Peggy Sue Got Married and Moonstruck put Nick Cage on the map. Ben Affleck was in a little movie called Good Will Hunting, and even co-wrote it. Who cares about Shia LaBeouf. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence both had insanely popular television shows before that stinker, Bad Boys. Lastly, plenty of people in the world knew who Megan Fox was because she gained a huge following when she was in Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen which was after she was in Michael Bay’s forgettable Bad Boys II. Just sit on your piles of money and shut up, Michael. Next thing we know you’ll be taking credit for long, flowing blonde hair. I invented it, Mike. Step off. And send me royalty checks for yours.

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Keywords: Uncategorized

Posted by Jenny, Jul 2nd, 2009

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Flavia Zoccari Cracks Her Butt

Flavia Zoccari, and Italian Olympic swimmer, was benched from a race after her swimsuit split and exposed her ass. Daily Mail reports:

“Flavia, 22, was wearing the controversial £318 top-of-the-line Jaked J01 swimsuit when disaster struck at the Games in Pescara, Italy today. She burst into tears as she was forced to stand down from her race. Jaked boasts that the full-body swimsuit - complete with back hinge - is ‘more than skin’. However the aerodynamic costume has been the subject of controversy after it was banned by FINA (the International Swimming Federation) earlier this year because it gave swimmers wearing it an unfair advantage. FINA lifted the ban on the swimsuit a month later, in June of this year, after Jaked, which sponsors the Italian national swim team, protested the ban. Zoccari - who is nearly six feet tall - later apologised for the embarrassing incident.”

That swimsuit was just doing what most people were hoping it would do. It’s a shame the whole thing didn’t split and shoot across the room like a rubber band. Look at the body on this woman. Good God. I guess when Flavia burned a hole in her suit she gave a whole new meaning to “hot piece of ass.”

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Keywords: Flavia Zoccari

Posted by Jenny, Jul 2nd, 2009

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Jessica Simpson is Still Trying Too Hard

Jessica Simpson’s annoying ass sang the National Anthem at the AT&T National PGA Golf Tournament in Bethesda, Maryland today. It’s a good thing she was respectful and wore this classy dress and didn’t unhinge her giant jaw to deepthroat the microphone this time. She really toned it down. And don’t mind those big, hard nipples she has there. Those were necessary to cast shadows on her feet. Sunny day. Don’t want sunburned toes. See, she’s a functional whore.