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Hayden Panettiere Does GQ
I’ve watched Little People, Big World a couple times, so I have a natural sensitivity toward dwarfs that most of you don’t. Hayden Panettiere and her T-Rex arms, and her creepy little stubby hands, and her giant water head, and her padded bra are just trying to live a normal life in a world dominated by average sized people. A little compassion would be nice.
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Keywords: Bikini, Hayden Panettiere, Hot, Sexy
Ashlee Simpson Wants to Do Michael Jackson
Papa Joe Simpson is doing the predictable thing and jumping on the Michael Jackson death bandwagon in order to try and resurrect Ashlee Simpson’s dead music career. Page Six hears:
“THAT Joe Simpson, never one to miss an opportunity, is trying to revive Ashlee Simpson’s record career by pitching a concept album on which Ashlee would record songs of Michael Jackson.”
I might be going out on a limb here, but shouldn’t you know how to sing before you try to sing? Especially when you try to sing like Michael Jackson? Ashlee Simpson just needs to stay home and go back to sharing makeup tips with her husband and thinking of more retarded names for their future children. The only time that CD would ever be useful is to set your drink on or torture Gitmo detainees, and I have enough coasters.
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Keywords: Ashlee Simpson, Michael Jackson, Pete Wentz
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are on Vacation
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are on vacation with Katherine Heigl in the Bahamas. Demi Moore is 46 years old, so we’re all supposed to be impressed beyond words that she looks like this. In reality, Demi Moore has spent close to half a million dollars on various plastic surgeries during her 46 years of living, so color me unimpressed. While you’re at it, color a big “X” on Ashton Kutcher’s dumb face. And then draw a shark coming out of the water and devouring both of them. Then draw a bunch of people celebrating on the shore, including me, but give me really big tits and make me rich. Dollar signs for eyes or something like that. You know what to do. You’re the artist. Thanks.
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Keywords: Ashton Kutcher, Bikini, Boobs, Demi Moore
Good Old Fashioned Diversions
Morgan Freeman is a gross perv… [Dlisted]
Miranda Kerr is naked… [Hollywood Tuna]
Carmen Electra is topless… [Taxi Driver Movie (nsfw)]
Megan Fox and her ass in a skirt… [Drunken Stepfather (nsfw)]
Walk Softly and Carry a Big Dick (”Hung” review)… [Pajiba]
Most Commented Posts
Keywords: Morgan Freeman
Mary-Louise Parker is Naked
I’ve had a painful crush on Billy Crudup for years. He was that sexy heartless jerk in Inventing the Abbotts, then he was that total marry-me softie in Waking the Dead, then he was that sexy semi-heartless jerk in Almost Famous. Then he went and dumped his 7 months pregnant girlfriend, Mary-Louise Parker for that boxy and boring, flatfaced Claire Danes, and made me hate him. I’d still do him in a thousand different positions, but I still hate him*.
And here’s his ex, Mary-Louise, naked in Esquire, promoting her pot smoking show. Cuz she got dumped and she’s a single mama - a squirrel just tryin’ to get a nut. Don’t hate.
A couple of these are NSFW:
* Not really. I’d still hit it, will forget Boxy Danes existed, and blame Mary for everything that went wrong.
Most Commented Posts
Keywords: Billy Crudup, Hot, Mary Louise Parker, Nude, Sexy, Side Boob, Topless
Lady GaGa is Doing the Right Thing
And the world doth breathed a collective sigh of relief whenst Lady GaGa masked her face. Whilst thine eyes are yet still pained from the sight of her hair of yellow hay, prayeth thee a herd of cattle wilst fill their hungry bellies on said hay sooneth.
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Keywords: Lady Gaga
Mena Got Back
If you can scroll down past the godawful gangster tattoo, you’ll see Mena Suvari is packing one hell of a nice ass. I can see why she’d ruin her chest with that tat because if you’re looking there, you’re looking in the wrong place. I imagine this helps her boyfriend’s stamina in bed, though. As soon as she’s on all fours and backing that thing up he’s probably spent instantly. Instead of thinking about unsexy things like plumbing and oil changes to keep himself from climax all he needs to do is flip Mena over and think about drive by shootings and shankings. Hey, whatever works for ya, pal.
See Also
Keywords: Bikini, Hot, Mena Suvari, Sexy
Rihanna Has Breasts, is Not Michael Jackson
I’m totally late posting today because I turned on the Michael Jackson memorial and slept through 90% of it because it was so mind numbingy boring and weird. Then I was so tired from napping I napped some more. Then I woke up and the memorial was replaying on every channel again, so I fell asleep again. The only exciting part was how absolutely creepy Michael Jackson’s family still is and all their acting and posturing while wearing matching white, sequined gloves. Which, by the way, was hilarious. Michael’s casket was gold plated, so grave robbers will probably dig it up soon and steal it like it’s ancient Egypt and Michael is some kind of pharaoh.
I’m too lazy to go digging up pictures from the memorial, so here are Rihanna and her tits in Vegas this weekend. Rihanna’s somewhat topical because she dated a Michael Jackson impersonator by the name of Chris Brown who beat the shit out of her. Get it? Beat it? And now we’ve come full circle. Stick with me, kids. I’ll take ya places.
See Also
Keywords: Boobs, Michael Jackson, Rihanna, Side Boob
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