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Tony Romo Finally Dumped Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson’s Twitter page is usually full of inane nonsense and God stuff, but this weekend it took an especially sappy turn which led people to wonder what was up with her. She had been planning a ridiculous “Barbie and Ken” themed birthday party for herself this weekend, but then her Twitter updates progressed as follows:
“barbie party didn’t happen, but i turned 29 and feel like i am on top of the world yelling I LOVE GETTING OLDER6:54 PM Jul 11th from web
The beat of a heart can make you realize the special rhythm of a person…just listen.7:41 PM Jul 12th from UberTwitter
I like the irregular beat…it sends me to another placeXO7:43 PM Jul 12th from UberTwitter
everyone needs to know that hope floats…grab the strings and pull it back to you9:05 PM Jul 12th from web
Falling asleep with my mom and the dogs. Please lord give all of my beautiful fans, friends, enemies, and family rest. Bring all of us peace11:56 PM Jul 12th from UberTwitter”
Well, all that garbage makes sense now because it’s official, Tony Romo dumped Jessica the day before her birthday. This is the first well executed play Tony Romo’s had in a long time, so it’s worthy of recognition. Not only did he not have to buy her a birthday present, but he was able to avoid being dressed like an idiot at her 6-year-old themed birthday party. There is absolutely no way Tony Romo would have recovered from that embarrassment. Jessica Simpson needs to learn from Liza Minnelli. If she wants to emasculate and play dolly dress-up with her boyfriends, then she needs to date gay men. Or she can just give up, buy a Snuggie, and spend the rest of her life hidden from the public eye surrounded by her 18 cats, because they’re the only ones who’ll truly love her and understand her.
Jessica Simpson and her nipples three years ago before she was dumped by John Mayer:
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Keywords: Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo
| Posted by Jenny, Jul 14th, 2009 |
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July 14th, 2009 at 4:08 pm
This is good news for the entire NFL. She should now be banned from all NFL stadiums so her stench does not linger.