Jessica Alba is an Idiot

Jessica Alba is completely useless and forgettable unless she’s naked or almost naked, so to get people to talk about her she says and does retarded things like vandalizing public and private property with shark posters. TMZ reports:

Oklahoma City cops tell us the city’s Director of Parks and Recreation — Wendell Whisenhunt — filed a police report after photos surfaced of Alba allegedly defacing electrical boxes, a bridge and a United Way billboard. Alba was on a mission, gluing posters that are part of a campaign to save the great whites. The problem — the glue is so gnarly the posters aren’t coming off. Cops say they want to have a chat with Alba, who’s in town filming a movie. Alba, it seems, is scrambling. Her rep has already called the United Way, offering to replace the billboard.

I have two fond memories of Great Whites from when I was living in Santa Barbara. The first memory is when a sea lion was perched on top of a swim buoy next to the pier and had gathered a huge audience of tourists and locals because it was barking and clapping its flippers like it was a Sea World attraction. Then out of nowhere a bigass Great White broke out of the water and bit the sea lion in half. People went running and screaming off the pier like it was a scene from Jaws.

My other memory is of a very popular, local abalone diver who was bitten and killed by a Great White during a dive out at Channel Islands. Judging by the size of the bite, the shark was estimated to be about 15 feet long.

I guess what I’m saying is, Jessica Alba needs to go play on a buoy or dive for abalone if she wants my attention on her cause. We know you were in Into the Blue, Jessica. We get it. Move on.

Credit: TMZ, TheLostOgle

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Keywords: Bikini, Jessica Alba, Sexy

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