May « 2009 « SuperiorGossip.Com

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Britney Spears is Still Disgusting

Britney Spears fans, publicists, and handlers would like you to believe that she’s a changed woman, but Britney Spears is still a gross pig. Page Six reports:

“The pop tart took time off from her “Circus” tour to do an Elle magazine shoot, our spy says, and it was a disaster. “They dressed her in all these beautiful couture clothes — and, well, let’s just say she forgot what time of the month it was. It wasn’t pretty.” A rep for Spears didn’t return e-mails. But at least she didn’t let her dog poop on the clothes like she did at an OK! magazine shoot last year.”

The saddest part about this is that almost no one has read this story and assumed it was untrue. Most people are saying, “Same ol’ Britney,” and “At least she’s not pregnant.” That’s thanks to things like this. And things like this (click thumbnails for NSFW pictures (circa Jan. 2008)):

Britney’s career has degraded to an audition tape for Jackass.

“In an interview with 94.7 WMAS in Springfield, Mass. this morning, Spelling said that she and her “Beverly Hills 90210” star daughter’s relationship has been nonexistent for the past several years. “Ive always been trying to work on the relationship [with Tori],” Spelling said. “I don’t know what the anger is. My daughter one day decided that she wasn’t speaking to my husband, myself and my son and that’s how it’s continued for the last, oh gosh, four or five years.” Spelling went one step further however, saying Tori’s abandonment ultimately cost Aaron Spelling his will to live. “It was sad because that’s what killed my husband actually. He just didn’t want to live after that. You know, He had done everything … he could possibly do for his daughter and she wanted no part of him once he couldn’t do anything for her.””

Candy is the same woman who inherited an estimated $300 million when her husband died and she gave Tori and her brother, Randy, less than $1 million each from that entire estate. At this point I’m not quite sure Candy’s human. I think when no one is around she peels off her human skin and she’s some sort of spiny lizard thing with tentacles underneath. And she carries around a trident while wearing a royal robe. And smoke comes out of her nose when she breathes. And she can shoot poison out of her eyes. Ooh, ooh, and she has suction cups on some of her feet! Wow, when I think about it, Candy Spelling is pretty cool!

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Keywords: bikini, charlotte gainsbourg, nsfw, nude, topless

Posted by Jenny, May 27th, 2009

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Danielle Lloyd is Bloody

Danielle Lloyd and her boyfriend, soccer player (ahem, “footballer”) Jamie O’Hara, went to a club in London the other night where Danielle was attacked and subsequently rushed to a hospital for emergency plastic surgery. The Sun reports:

“Cops arrested two women in their 20s for allegedly attacking her as she partied with £9,000-a-week Jamie, 22. The couple had been to a wedding before heading to the Crystal club in London’s West End — arriving hand-in-hand at 11pm. Jamie was also left dripping in Danielle’s blood after she was allegedly hurled through a glass table in a vicious 2am catfight — sparked by two girls dancing on the back of a VIP sofa she was sitting on. A witness said: “I think one kicked Danielle — it may have been an accident. She got up to remonstrate. “I saw her in a tangle with at least one other woman. Punches and slaps were being thrown. “Danielle came falling backward off the sofa and landed on a table. She cut her leg pretty badly. Jamie and some guy who may have been the other girl’s boyfriend were being held apart by bouncers who threw Jamie out.” As she lay on the pavement, Danielle was heard shrieking: “My leg, my leg.” She needed stitches to a “serious” back wound as well as cosmetic surgery on her limb. Scotland Yard confirmed they were investigating.”

Glass tables are pretty much the worst pieces of furniture ever. They always look like hell unless you Windex them every hour, and they’re evil. They just sit there waiting for someone to fall on them or set something down too hard so they can sever an artery. The only time they’re ever tolerable is when a Heather falls on one or a geek is trapped in one. Apart from that, they’re just tools of the devil.

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Keywords: danielle lloyd

Posted by Jenny, May 26th, 2009

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Paris Hilton is (Still) Offensive

David Furnish, Elton John’s boyfriend/husband/whatever, invited Paris Hilton and her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt, to a party on a yacht in Cannes. Of course she behaved like a nasty slut right away and got kicked out. The Mirror reports:

“David met Paris at the Hotel du Cap and invited her to a party on his friend’s yacht. As soon as Paris arrived she had her tongue down Doug’s throat. Everyone kept saying how inappropriate they were being but Paris didn’t care who was looking. They got so worked up she dragged Doug below deck so they could have some private time. But as they were closing the cubicle door so they could tear into each other, they were caught out. David spotted them and the captain was furious. He kicked them off for unsociable behaviour. Everyone congratulated the captain.”

The only things Paris Hilton should ever be invited to are frat parties and porn sets. Anything else should be off limits. I don’t know what these people were expecting when they let Paris Hilton into their party. You’d have better luck with a velociraptor. At least it wouldn’t snort all your coke and spread herpes to half your guests.