Rumors have been swirling that Reese Witherspoon is pregnant based on these pictures of her taken on March 26 and March 28. Supposedly she’s sporting some sort of belly pooch which is barely noticeable, but sorta there. I find this hard to believe since the father would be Jake Gyllenhaal and he’s rumored to be a big ol’ queer. Then again, Tom Cruise somehow managed to get Katie Holmes pregnant and everyone knows he has no interest in vagina whatsoever, unless it’s to make it join his cult, but even then it’s all business. The only penetration happening there is a pen inserted to sign on the dotted line.
Kelly Brook is in Barbados nippling around in the ocean with her skin and strings, and thank goodness for those ties because boobs, butt let’s pretend to take her seriously ass an actress so she’ll keep doing this…
Jennifer Love Hewitt is now dating funnyman daywalker, Jamie Kennedy. Here they are on a Mexico vacation pretending they’re not posing for paparazzi. Does anyone even care about these people anymore? Who’s going to buy these pictures? Why am I talking about them? Who’s shoes am I wearing? Who’s gun is this? Why am I naked? Mmm, pudding….
This heavy bird sat on Paris Hilton’s twig in Hawaii.Â Surprisingly, Paris Hilton suffered no broken bones under the weight.Â However, it was nice to witness this family reunion.Â Sadly, the bird was not thrilled at all.Â “Just because we have the same nose doesn’t mean we’re related,” said the parrot.
Britney Spears kicked off her “I Spent All My Money, So Give Me Yours” tour Tuesday night in New Orleans. The unbiased reviews all basically say the same thing. She lip synced badly to pre-recorded tracks for about and hour and did very little dancing and a whole lot of strutting around on stage in various costumes. It was pretty much a whole bunch of lights, and flashy things, and televisions, and circus junk … a whole lot of stuff to take their attention off the washed up pop star they paid to see. Super.
Everything Britney does Madonna’s already done, and done better. Britney usually waits a few years before she copies one of Madonna’s famous looks or themes, but she didn’t wait as long this time since this “Circus” show looks like a cheaper version of Madonna’s 2008 Sticky & Sweet Tour. Whatever. It would be really nice if both of them would just go ahead and retire since both of them have worn out their welcome. I don’t know what it will take to convince them to go away. I don’t know what I could give them. Will they take a half-eaten turkey sandwich and an empty Altoids box? Britney, you can stash your meth in there!!
|Posted by Jenny, Mar 5th, 2009||Share||Comments Off|
AnnaLynne McCord is trying to learn how to eat things other than air and vaginas. Good for her. Baby steps, AnnaLynne. You can do it!
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Jennifer Aniston spent $50,000 to keep her boring fart-parted hair boring and fart-parted while on her Marley & Me press tour in the UK. FOX News says:
Here’s how it breaks down. Each styling session alone runs the star $2,000. Tack on a first class plane ticket from Los Angeles to London, an all-expense-paid stay for seven days at the poshest of posh London, and youâ€™ve got yourself a $50,000 hairdo.
50 grand for blonde highlights and a blowout? No diamonds sewn in the strands of your hair? No gold halo floating over your head? No complimentary buffet or happy ending? The last time I saw this much money wasted on such a boring pile of nothing it was Jennifer Aniston’s career.
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Posh Spice took her kids to Universal Studios a few days ago wearing her trademark ridiculous looking shoes. We all know she’s a midget, so I don’t know why she thinks it’s necessary to keep wearing stilts. She’s not fooling anyone. If she doesn’t stop soon she’ll be confined to a wheelchair by the time she’s 50. Not that it will stop her from looking stupid. She’ll probably put square wheels on the wheelchair. “They’re … Christian …… Louboutin … wheels…” she’ll be heard saying as she thumps her way down the red carpet.
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